There Are Something’s That It Is Impossible For Me To Understand.

June 22, 2014

sag pants
And this is one of them. Am I missing something ?

I can appreciate that across the generations things change and of course I also understand fashions change, however one thing always seemed constant to me and that was the desire of the different genders to want to attract one another.

Let’s take a quick look at the Birds and Bees for a moment, well the birds anyway.
Peacock bird-paradise

The males of the various species go to tremendous lengths to impress the ladies in an effort to find a mate. Humans learned from their efforts and for many centuries followed suit.

They knew that the ladies demand the highest standards of their males, because this was by way of ensuring their offspring would be strong and therefore have the best chances of survival in a tough world.

Darwin called this evolution by natural selection and it seems that every animal species on the planet still understands this……… bar one that is.
What message does this actually send to the female of the species ?

sag pants 4

To me it looks more like someone suffering from terminal Brain Fade, how else can you explain someone who looks as if he is about to take a leak in public while wearing a hat backwards and trousers at half mast ? Although I’m fairly sure out there there is some sort of medical ‘trick cyclist’ who will come up with a half baked theory or two.

Of course it is not up to me is it ?

The fact that I personally think he, and all who copy him, look like complete Dorks is quite frankly irrelevant, question is what do the young female of the species think and do these Dorks actually care ?

You see what confuses the hell out of me is that from what I see people watching is that the female of the species still go out of their way to appear as attractive to the male of the species as possible, judge for yourself.

pretty pretty 2

Back in my younger days the battle of the sexes was a lot simpler, and followed the basic rules of evolution as observed by Darwin. The females gathered in giggling groups in the playground at break time or sat on the fringes of the dance floor defying the approach of all but the bravest of fool hardy males.

For our part we males dressed in all the latest fashion, saved our pocket money or performed menial tasks to earn money so we could impress the girls with our generosity. We could hardly wait to be old enough to get powered wheels, a motorbike would do but the ultimate challenge was learning to drive then talking the keys of the family car away from the old man.

Of course we also needed to concentrate upon our education in order to get the best job possible to present the future spouse with our bread winning capabilities and our potential to father and maintain their brood.

So what has changed ? True we know that over the past couple of decades the female of the species has educationally been overtaking the males and on many fronts and I would venture a guess that intelligence is one of those fronts.

I have also observed that rather than be left out of this modern saggy bottom fashion craze the female of the species has come up with their own adaptation and of course, in my humble opinion, are actually managing to improve upon it.

sag pants 3 sag pants2

Needless to say I have my own theory on the whole of this Soggy Bottom Saga and that is that within the male of the human species Evolution is not only going backwards but may actually have created a whole new sub spies.

Meet Arsecus Erecticus


As you can see when stripped of the camouflaging shorts or trousers there is a marked extension of the spine, this lowers the buttocks to just above the knees which of course when covered looks as if Arsecus has taken a dump in his shorts and may account for the vacant expression on his face.

There is an obvious advantage to such a sub species for the rest of the species, with such a low slung ass and miniature legs it will make it difficult for Arsecus to run with any speed. This means that he will provide a perfect first line of defence against attacking meat eating animals.

So far I have seen no evidence that there is a female version of Arsecus Erecticus which means that this sub species of male is having limited breeding success, which is at least encouraging for the overall survival of the human species.

8 Responses to “There Are Something’s That It Is Impossible For Me To Understand.”

  1. laurie27wsmith Says:

    A great piece Merlin and I agree 100%. I wonder how on earth a fashion spawned in prison, that tells other inmates you’re available for anal sex could catch on. The only good thing is that after committing some misdemeanour they won’t be able to run away fast enough.

  2. merlinfraser Says:

    Hi Laurie, thanks for stopping by. I wonder if these youthful fashionistas have any idea of the sexual signal their fashion style sends out ? No wonder they’re not breeding !!!!

    I think they think they are rebelling !

  3. Tami McVey Says:

    Perhaps I’m too old to be counted, but I can assure you as a female, I see nothing attractive with how those silly boys dress either. Thanks to you two, I’ll be giggling randomly now when I see them hobbling down the street!! haha

    • merlinfraser Says:

      Hi Tami, it has been far too long since I heard from you. are you saying I haven’t tickled your funny bone recently and hence the silence ? Obviously I must try harder.

      • Tami McVey Says:

        Awe, not at all my friend! I’m afraid I’ve simply buried myself for the past year! You know that saying… be careful what you wish for? I evidently wished for too much work!! 🙂

  4. merlinfraser Says:

    Hey Tami, Been there done that got a drawer full of T shirts ! My problem is my big mouth is not always connected to my brain and often volunteers me for things where sitting somewhere pleasant with a glass of cool wine would have been the smarter option.

    Of course neither do I have the excuse “I’m washing my hair that night !”

  5. Raani York Says:

    THIS is just downright hilarious. I laughed and giggled my way through the post.
    Of course I do agree! – and because I do agree so much I had to share it all over the place so many more people will be able to agree. 🙂
    You’re such a talented writer, Merlin!!

    • merlinfraser Says:

      You know me Raani, I cannot stay serious for too long and dear Arsecus Ereticus provided me with the platform I needed.

      I’m pleased you thought it worthy of sharing and I hope you put a full GIGGLE Warning on the Re post !

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