Excuses……Excuses !

April 16, 2014


Excuses….. Excuses…..is another in the glowing example to all of those kind hearted, but severely disillusioned people, who earnestly believe that writing is not a talent but a skill anyone can achieve.

I beg to differ and here is my latest list of reasons why. These come from Work and Schools to record absences.

• “Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea, and his boots leak.”

• “Sally won’t be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral.”

• “Dear Teecher. Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33.”

• “Margaret could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.”

• “My son is under a doctor’s care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him.”

• “Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick, and I had her shot.”

• “Could you please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.”

• “Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.”

• “John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.”

• “Young Carl was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.”

• “Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.”

• “Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.”

• “Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.”

• “Brian was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.”

• “Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father’s fault.”

• “Can you forgive Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to take the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was

• “My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the Marines.”

• “Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.”

• ” Mary was absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.”

• ” Ann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache, and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever, and sore throat,
her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn’t the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her
father even got hot last night.”

3 Responses to “Excuses……Excuses !”

  1. Raani York Says:

    All right, Merlin. Another hilarious read. I nearly fell off my chair “misplacing my hips” I was laughing so hard. LOL
    I sometimes wish there would be more people being able to read this.
    And it shows so well that apparently writing isn’t mainly something people can learn, right? 😉

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