Senior Moments and Wrinkly Memories.

March 26, 2013

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I figure I’ll probably get a slap for this particular Blog. Why…. I mean it’s all very well for me extracting the urine out of the young and sharing their examples of total brain fade but when it comes to ‘Senior Moments’ then I feel I’m entering thorny territory in flip-Flops.

Ah What the Hell ! OK I might piss off a few senior but who cares… by the time they get round to retaliating they will have forgotten what they were mad about in the first place.

So what, I hear you ask is a Senior Moment ? Well here’s a small example;

After their morning stroll two old guys pop into the local pub for a lunchtime drink. One says to the other, “the wife and I went to this great restaurant last night.”

“Yeah ! What was it called ?”

The first guy was really struggling to remember the name…. “What’s the name of that flower that women like to get?”

“Carnation”

“No. It’s usually red with big petals”

“Poppy”

“ No. It has a thorny stem.”

“You mean Rose ?”

“That’s it.” He then borrows his pals mobile phone and calls his wife. “Rose. What was the name of that restaurant we went to last night ?”

You got it now…? We all suffer from them now and then, you start speaking with complete confidence and all of a sudden…. whatever it was you were talking about just up and disappears.

Happened to me a few months ago, I don’t know if you ever watch the TV programme Star Trek Voyager, I’m still trying to work out the plot or storyline but it seems like this space ship crew are lost and trying to find their way home and every week they manage to meet a new batch of aliens that really don’t like them and then they shoot at one another for a while…. you know the sort of thing.

Anyway in this programme the ship’s Captain is a woman and her voice was extremely familiar to me and when I looked the face and mannerisms were also familiar. I was in the middle of pointing this out and …. then it happened.

I knew exactly who I was thinking of, I could name half a dozen of her films, not that that helped because like all good things…. ‘Wrinkly Brain Fade’ is catching. The lady I was with knew exactly who we were talking about… she was in the film African Queen with that Humphs Buggered…. I blurted out, which didn’t seem to help a whole hell of a lot. You know…. she was in that cowboy movie with whatisname… one eye… drunken cat…!

Now I’ve got her trying to think of a one eyed actor… “ You mean Columbo ?”

Columbo….!!!! “ What the hell’s he got to do with anything…?”

“Well he’s only got one eye….!”

“Not the actor, you silly tart, the character’s only got one Eye…!”

“Which character’s only got one eye ?”

Then for no apparent reason I suddenly remember the actress I was trying to think of in the first place, “Katharine Hepburn…”
“Katharine Hepburn’s only got one eye ?”

“No, she’s the actress I was thinking of that the actress that plays the captain in Star Trek Voyager reminds me of…”
“Oh ! Dunno, I never watched it. ”

There you go, I’ve admitted in public I have Senior moments so now I don’t feel quite so bad when I tell you about two old dears meeting in the street.

As they stopped to chat one was horrified as she looked at friend; “ Francis you have a suppository sticking out of your left ear?”

As her friend pulled it out looking at it she replied, “ Ah!…. I think I now know where my hearing aid might be !”

I was reminded the other day about a dinner party I had to attend, our hosts were a wonderful old couple full of fun and seemed to be very much in love after nearly sixty years of marriage. Every time they passed one another they would smile lovingly and called one another, Dear or Darling, he answering her every wish with ‘ yes my love.”

In a quiet moment I happened to mention this to a close friend who smiled and said, “Don’t let them fool you, they confided in me months ago that neither of them can remember the others ones name.”

I suppose on the plus side, if you suffer from regular senior moments you can always hide your own Christmas presents ?

Mabel’s mobile phone rang , it was her husband, “Mabel you be careful out there, it’s just been on the news that there’s a car going the wrong way up the new dual carriageway.”

She replied, “Hell it’s not just One there’s hundreds of them !”

And finally, upon reaching the grand old age of 105 Gladys was still as sharp as a tack, sitting in her favourite armchair over by the large French Windows she was being interviewed by a young lady from the local newspaper who was trying to find out the secret of longevity.

“One final question Gladys, Tell me have you ever been bed ridden ?”

Dear Gladys thought for a moment and with a wicked twinkle in her eye she replied, “ Oh my dear girl, many, many times and twice on the top of a double-decker bus!”

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2 Responses to “Senior Moments and Wrinkly Memories.”

  1. ruthhixson Says:

    Thank you for making my day. (giggle, chuckle, guffaw)

    • merlinfraser Says:

      Your are most welcome Ruth, watch this space there is more to come. I’m in the process of giving that tweek here and there and then moving my entire collection, (well the good bits) to this location.


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